I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
