You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
