Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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