There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
