it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
