You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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