Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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