New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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