Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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