Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
