I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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