Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
