Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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