its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
