i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
