eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
