No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
