If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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