To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
