Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
