What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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