You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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