rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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