you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I met the friendliest cop last night
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
