She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
