dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
