see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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