I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
