I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am one with the molecules
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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