I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
