Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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