I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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