Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
