I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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