God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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