Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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