And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
