You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
