The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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