I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
