You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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