New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
