I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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