Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
