Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
