Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
