i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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