Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
