dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
