You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
This is not my ceiling
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
