sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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