Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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